The Tao of Menopause #2

Tao Te Ching, #3

If you over esteem great men
people become powerless.
If you over esteem poessessions,
people begin to steal.

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think they know.

Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.

Well, empty nesters and menopausal women with an urge to empty their closets, will relate to the Tao entry above. At least, in my case, after twenty years of reading books, writing essays and poetry, attempting to 'fit' in a literary world, and after much soul searching and confusion about 'what's next', I have finally come face to face with the fact that most of what is 'literary' bores me. My mind can use some emptying, as well as my closets. There is too much 'stuff' in my 5 bedroom house, weighing me down. There is too much thinking in my mind keeping me away from feeling my core. I create confusion when I think I know too much, anyway. Clutter.

Lao Tsu says the solution is to practice 'not-doing'. Stephen Mitchell, in the preface to his translation of this gem of wisdom, says 'not-doing' does not mean doing nothing, but losing oneself in the flow of doing, the way an artist loses himself in his work, or a dancer in the dance. The mind is tricky in that it creates separation between the heart and what we are 'doing', self-doubt, self-criticism, negative thinking keep us removed from the feeling of 'flow' or core. If I align myself with what I have learned to focus on inside, the feeling of the heart, the separation is removed.

I want to pay attention to the real desire of the heart, my thirst for self-knowledge, of the longing for peace felt deep in the belly. My ambition may become weak on the outside, for accumulation of objects, cars, possessions, for recognition and fame, for keeping up with the neighbours. I may decide to empty my house of extraneous furniture and belongings and call the Sally Ann to come do a big pick-up. But how to empty the mind of its forgotten clutter of concepts?

Only in the recognition of my thirst for self-love, for harmony, can I find my real ambition: to appreciate the curcumstances of my life (gratitude), and flow with trust in the rightness of what life presents every day. To learn how to flow peacefully from home time to work time to supper prep time to teen chauffering time, without feeling squeezed inside because there is no 'me' time.

Finding pleasure in taking care of my needs, sitting in silence daily, listening closely to my emotions, to finding balance, to grounding in and accepting Life: in my ambition to become a human being, not a human doing.

Heart to Heart.
Everything will fall into place.

The Tao of Menopause

The Tao of Menopause is where I am going to comment on readings of the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu, something I have been reading for a couple of years, at random. The translation I work from is Stephen Mitchell's, and I love its simple poetic flavour.

67

Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
this nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice,
this loftiness has roots that go deep.

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.

Three little things, yes, and so difficult for me to achieve! It seems I started out with simplicity, with wanting nothing but the basics, living close to the source, and as I grew into a child, and then an adult, 'wanting' things, desiring recognition and achievements, gathering and accumulating relationships, furniture, clothing, art, books, children, persian carpets, a bigger house....the simplicity escaped. Patience has never been one of my virtues, and compassion, I thought, was for the weak and needy.

Oh but the wisdom life brings: in menopause the motto for me has been simplify! unload! empty out closets, give away houseplants, make do with less. Too much clutter, too many remote controls, too much stuff, too much confusion, makes me long for simplicity.

Patience I will work on, God, but give it to me quickly!

Compassion for myself.....learning this one out of 'no choice'. A broken leg, a sadness in the soul, a feeling of bug soup meltdown in the chrysalis....menopausal midlife change brought me challenges, health wise and emotion-wise, that have helped me learn compassion. It means "to suffer with" someone. As we learn from our own suffering, so we can be com-passionate with someone else's sufferings.

The nonsense Lao Tsu teaches comes with life experience, is more than mere words.
Its roots go deep.

Feeling is believing,

musemother

Kundalini Power and Nettles

Remember that the turmoil and strife and heat stirred up in menopause are likely connected to your kundalini power.

One nourishing herb, according to Susun Weed, to help balance the drying effects of kundalini's heat, is Stinging Nettle.

"Stinging nettle infusion replaces the nutrients and proteins that Kundalini uses up. By strengthening the adrenals and kidneys, and increasing stamina, nettle helps us surf the waves and ski the slopes of our hot flashes.Stinging nettle (Urtica dioica) is a wonderful ally for the woman who is awakened by night sweats, whose hair is falling out or becoming brittle, whose energy is flagging (or gone!), whose vagina is dry, who wants to avoid adult-onset diabetes, for the woman who wants to increase her metabolic rate, improve the flexibility of her blood vessels, strengthen her immune system, and find ease for sore joints."
Susun Weed's website under Kundalini and Menopause

Reply from Belly (see letter on musemother link)

Dear Jenn,
You were born with me, and you came into the world after living nine months in a female belly. Little jenn used to dance me around in stretchy pants, roll tumble wrestle and play. Then you got broken into and stopped trusting the world or the signals I gave, inside and outside violations. No one to count on, or show you how to trust your belly/body. So you cut yourself off at the neck.

Stopped hearing me down in the nether regions. I had to speak volumes with limited vocabulary and images. Symptoms - gas, cramps, aches, pain, now you listen better.

I love that you will listen now, but slowing down to be with me is what I need more of, not words and promises. I like it when we breathe together. I can help you regain trust in the world and in yourself. Stay close to my wisdom, the center of breath is with me, and my peace will be your peace.

There are two doorways to protect me - upper and lower bonda. Respect me, my boundaries are your boundaries. Rely on this inner connection. Stop. Feel. Proceed. Check in with me.

I speak volumes without words.

luv
your belly

Inner Wisdom and the Belly

Our bellies are our second brain. You know it as 'gut feeling'. That feeling in your gut that says, nope, don't want to jump off that high rock. Or, not sure I can say yes to this request. Or, go for it! Why can't we trust our belly's wisdom? Maybe the myths and stories around women are partly to blame.

Pandora's box
For instance, many of us have heard or read a short version of this myth, written by the Greek poet Hesiod in the 8th Century BCE.

Zeus was angry at Prometheus for giving the gift of fire to mankind, so he ordered Hephaestus to mix earth with water, implant in it a human voice and make it beautiful and desirable in the form of a maiden with a face like a goddess. Athena taught her to weave, Aphrodite planted longing and sorrows to permeate her body, and Hermes gave her the mind of a bitch and the character of a thief (see what the early Greeks thought of women?). (Classical Mythology)

She was the first mortal woman. For a wedding gift, sly Zeus gave Pandora a beautiful box and told her not to peek inside or open it. But she did, of course, and out flew all the evils and illnesses, plagues and pestilence into the world. Only one thing remained; at the bottom of the box was hope.

Just like Eve, Pandora was blamed for all the evils in the world.

But behind the story is an error in translation from Greek into Latin, in the 16th century. 'Pithos' meaning vase or jar became pyxis meaning box.

So the Vase or water jar that is the symbol of woman's womb and accompanies many goddesses in artwork (Aphrodite & the sign for Acquarius are just two), became something less than a gift. Pandora means All Giver, or all gifts, another name for Rhea, the Great Goddess, the female image of the power of life.

Woman's belly is Rhea's vase. "Woman's belly is the sacred source of life."

So love your belly, and listen to its wisdom. Give your belly a hug today :)




story adapted from The Woman's Belly Book, Finding your Treasure Within, by Lisa Sarasohn, Self-Health Education, 2003 and Classical Mythology.

Womb Energy: uterus and ovaries

I once read an article that had a great title: Motherhood takes Balls!

That would be ovaries, on us darling. "Our ovarian wisdom represents our deepest creativity, that which can be born only through us," says Dr. Christiane Northrup, my favourite authority on women's bodies.

Ovarian power - think of it - not just for creating babies, but for allowing our creativity to come through us, not through the intellect alone.

"Ovaries are at risk when women feel controlled or criticized by others or when they themselves control and critizie others." (Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom)

Yeesh, better be careful, I think, coming from a long line of hyper-critical women.

Think of the uterus as the rich dark earth in which the creative seeds from the ovaries grow in time. Our uterus, Northrup says, is energetically related to our innermost sense of self - symbolic of our dreams, the parts of us we would like to give birth to. "Its state of health reflects her inner emotional reality and her belief in herself at the deepest level. The health of the uterus is at risk if a woman doesn't believe in herself or is excessively self-critical." (WBWW)

Try this excercise: lie down somewhere comfortable, with a pad of paper and a pen nearby. Ask yourself, if my uterus could speak, what would she say? If she was an object, or a room, what colour would she be? If she had a name, what would it be?

Put your hands on your belly before starting, and breathe deeply. Feel your self contact your uterus and ovaries within. Let any images or colours come to the surface of your mind. Stay with the feeling. See what comes up. Then write it down.

One more thought, Carolyn Myss (medical intuitive) suggests that fibroid tumours represent the creativity that was never birthed, inlcuding fantasy images of ourselves that have never seen the light of day. Or possibly our life energy flowing into dead-end jobs or relationships we have outgrown.

This is just a more imaginative way of looking at our bodies, as representing our highest wisdom, often expressed in a metaphorical language not unlike the language of dreams. You are the best interpretor of these images and symbols. It's time to start a dialogue, today.

You've got Ovaries, Baby!

jenn

Message from Queen of Heaven

Dear ladies, queens of your households,

May you give yourself a few moments of peace today to experience the blessing of rest.

I, goddess Ishtar, reclining on my chaise-lounge, would like to encourage you to do what I do at the full moon, when my heart is full too. I have been busy for two weeks now, waxing into fullness, mounting tides, climbing mountains, blessing fields with my rising energy. Feeding, cleaning and folding, like you, my daughters, who are sisters and mothers. Birthing, caring for the ill, the babies and needy ones. And now, before the descent of the next two weeks’ waning time, I pause for a day, in stillness. I lay my feet on my golden couch by the window, where I can listen to bird song and watch the sun rise in the sky.

Let the world continue to spin without me for today. I remove the Queen headdress and crown. I remove the staff of power from my hand. I remove the girdle of fertility, the sandals of activity, the bracelets of charity to others, and I lie on my couch and am fed.

The pure water of the river cools me. The breeze reminds me of my breath. I rest.
And the world restores me to myself.

I invite you to partake of this Sabbatu, or Heart’s Rest, too.

Blessings.