The Tao of Menopause #2

Tao Te Ching, #3

If you over esteem great men
people become powerless.
If you over esteem poessessions,
people begin to steal.

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think they know.

Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.

Well, empty nesters and menopausal women with an urge to empty their closets, will relate to the Tao entry above. At least, in my case, after twenty years of reading books, writing essays and poetry, attempting to 'fit' in a literary world, and after much soul searching and confusion about 'what's next', I have finally come face to face with the fact that most of what is 'literary' bores me. My mind can use some emptying, as well as my closets. There is too much 'stuff' in my 5 bedroom house, weighing me down. There is too much thinking in my mind keeping me away from feeling my core. I create confusion when I think I know too much, anyway. Clutter.

Lao Tsu says the solution is to practice 'not-doing'. Stephen Mitchell, in the preface to his translation of this gem of wisdom, says 'not-doing' does not mean doing nothing, but losing oneself in the flow of doing, the way an artist loses himself in his work, or a dancer in the dance. The mind is tricky in that it creates separation between the heart and what we are 'doing', self-doubt, self-criticism, negative thinking keep us removed from the feeling of 'flow' or core. If I align myself with what I have learned to focus on inside, the feeling of the heart, the separation is removed.

I want to pay attention to the real desire of the heart, my thirst for self-knowledge, of the longing for peace felt deep in the belly. My ambition may become weak on the outside, for accumulation of objects, cars, possessions, for recognition and fame, for keeping up with the neighbours. I may decide to empty my house of extraneous furniture and belongings and call the Sally Ann to come do a big pick-up. But how to empty the mind of its forgotten clutter of concepts?

Only in the recognition of my thirst for self-love, for harmony, can I find my real ambition: to appreciate the curcumstances of my life (gratitude), and flow with trust in the rightness of what life presents every day. To learn how to flow peacefully from home time to work time to supper prep time to teen chauffering time, without feeling squeezed inside because there is no 'me' time.

Finding pleasure in taking care of my needs, sitting in silence daily, listening closely to my emotions, to finding balance, to grounding in and accepting Life: in my ambition to become a human being, not a human doing.

Heart to Heart.
Everything will fall into place.