Sunday, December 2, 2007

A woman’s Way from the Tao of Menopause

Epilogue:

The woman’s journey is to realize her power is within her. As a woman.
Joseph Campbell, Pathways to Bliss

Some of us are becoming the man we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem

How to Marry myself:
the worldly, practical, doer and the spiritually hungry be-ing want to marry inside the breath. Bathe in stillness as in a clear stream of breath running up and down the center of being. Feel cleansed and whole upon arising. Return to the list of things to do, calls to make.

Keep it simple, silly.

Prologue:

How to get closer to me, to my singular truth, or way, (a woman’s way) like Joan, hearing voices in the light, and Mira, dancing to her own music, or Teresa, despairing of being judged a heretic but heeding an experience so intimate, so her own, that even punishment or excommunication from her religious faith could not dissuade her. Although self-doubt was present, she surrendered to the piercing of her heart –

And so, not to put myself in that league of illustrious company, still, I invoke these ‘mothers of spirit’ if you will, and say, I am ready to hear my own rhythm – at least, I want to be open to hearing it, to follow that narrow path within, where the going is by feeling, letting go of maps, books, guides, all those who say go here, do this, and wish to give me explanations, for I have been lead far astray, until I doubt my every step. Or run so quickly over the path, my feet barely touch the ground.

All I ask or will, is that my two feet remain on the ground, connected and even if losing my reason is the thing I fear most in this world, I am willing to listen deeply and find the inner strength necessary to take each step from a new perspective, one from inner conviction.

A voice coaxes-- says, I have always been here; you have always listened to your parent’s wisdom, your teacher’s insights, your friend’s admonitions, your children’s voices. Now, before you go any further down the wrong road – wait – what do you mean by wrong? If I do not know what is right? So skip right and wrong. Feeling.

I have been told to start finding out how I feel – what I feel. This numbing busy-ness stresses me – carries me out on a wave too far from shore, there is risk of drowning. All right then, now - I am listening. Guide me. I say to my self – if you are the One I have run from all this time and now, you are so close and in fact, inside my right ear whispering to me, then guide me. I have lost my trust in politicians, in self-help books, in science and religion, in philosophy, tragedy and comedy – where else is there to turn?

So if there be guides awake in the night, angels lighting my path, let me listen to you. And then, listen to my beating heart, my ragged breath, and carefully attend, and tend to, the tiny tendrils of inner thought, of being before thinking – If there be a place to find wisdom, here it is. It prefers a sideways glance --stops when looked at directly. No glaring eyes.

-----------
“Suffering is part of the feminine…a sense of loss of all, even capacity for action, a loss so deep nothing matters.” Inanna, Descent to the Goddess

There are those sleeping who are awake,
and others awake who are sound asleep.

Some of those bathing in sacred pools
will never get clean.

And there are others
doing household chores
who are free of any action.

Lalla, 14th century Kashmir


to be continued
musemother

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cool, you've stopped running away from yourself.

Now if you sit still, she can catch up with you. ;^)

She doesn't glare -- she's more just kind of sitting there kind of smirking at you... ;^)

Namaste!

Sherry said...

The quotes are exceptional and this piece is moving beyond words.

Finding "self" and getting to know "self" is an incredible journey. Would I have been able to do this at 35? Doubtful. But where I am right now? Absolutely.

Creative Soulful Woman said...

cycles and labyrinths, going down and in, the woman's way is circular, so maybe at 35 you were seeing some part of the journey you are not seeing now. It's all good, isn't it? we can't back up -we can only proceed. I do love being 53! and I love your comments, tks for stopping by,
jenn
ps I'm always running, except for today: snowstorm stopped me in my tracks, lit a candle, wrote in my journal, drank some bancha tea ;)

bella said...

Are there words enough to say thank-you for hearing and answering the call, writing your words here for us, me, to read and know?
I will come here and read each and every word, read slowly, take me time and let them come all the way inside.